With Mother’s Day not long behind us and Father’s Day creeping upon us, I have been thinking a lot about parenting and children and everything that comes with along with it lately.
We park our cars in an open air parking garage. There are often birds’ nests in the pipes. Earlier this week, I was unfortunate enough to look up and see that, hanging from one of the birds’ nests was the body of a small, dead baby bird. It looked like it had jumped out of the nest, or perhaps had fallen out, and got stuck. Regardless, it was heart breaking for me. All I could think was, “could I have done something to help it? Did I do something to contribute, unknowingly, to it’s demise?”
I am not a vegetarian. In fact, I eat chicken, a long lost relative of this dead baby bird, all the time. I know animals, bugs, people die all the time. However, this little bird struck a chord with me for some reason, so much so that I can’t get it out of my head, especially because it’s little body is still hanging there, upside down, lifeless and skeletal, at once creeping me out and breaking my heart, everytime I leave my car or get back in it. I would have probably let the circumstances of where we park our car, and my unfortunate notice of the bird, go by the way side, had it not been for the site of yet another dead baby bird at work today.
I just had to write about these little guys and try to get some closure. How did these dead little animals come to this state of being?!?!?! Their parents sat on them long enough as eggs to bring them to life. Had their parents died, lost their way, found another nest to call home? How did these little birds come to have no parent to care for it, so much so that it died?!
Obvsiouly I am drawn to young lives who need assistance. My curious thoughts about this little bird are, I’m sure, drawn out due to my tremendous love for the toddler we are caring for in our home. She also had parents who created her and brought her into the world, into their nest, but somehow, they lost their way as parents; they lost their way from the life they created. I wonder about parents who cannot care for their children. I wonder about their lives before they became parents and what they went through to make it so that they created life and could not create a life to care for themselves or anyone else.
Having this toddler around also makes me think of my childhood and my life before I decided to care for another. Having this young life around makes me think about my childhood, what made me who I am today, and it makes me wonder about her life, who she become and what I need to do to try to help make her become the best person she can become. Having her around makes me so thankful for the people I share my life with. This little lady makes me so thankful for my incredible significant other who took so much time out of his life to go to training and get certified to have a child with me, even if she isn’t of our blood. Not that I wasn’t before, but my life as it is now makes me so much more appreciative for our friends and family who have taught us so much about life and have helped us become who we are today, parenting this young new life.
I’ve recently come to realize that no matter what I am going through, I must be patient and kind to her, and to those around me so she can mimic polite, caring behavoir. I know I have to have her back regardless what may happen. My significant other and I do this for each other, and we know we must do this for others if we want that in return.
Everything about my life is now magnified. I know that every behavoir of mine will be carefully studied, knowingly or not, by her little mind, now and when she looks back on it when she is older. Perhaps knowing this is why my thinking about those poor little baby birds is also so magnified?
Although I doubt I’ll ever get over the sadness I feel for those little baby birds, and the sadness I feel for all children who have had to experience loss, it feels good to put these of mine thoughts out there.
Thanks for reading!